Today’s Funny: Phrases You Wish You Could Say At Work

Phrases You Wish You Could Say At Work


  1. If you got payed a nickel for every stupid idea you had, you’d be a millionaire.
  2. Just when I thought you couldn’t say anything dumber, you keep talking!
  3. I’d smack you in the head, but shit splatters!
  4. That’s so cute… you’d think I give a shit!
  5. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
  6. Ah, I see the f**k-up fairy has visited us again.
  7. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be…?
  8. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
  9. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
  10. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?
  11. Chaos, panic, and disorder: my work here is done.
  12. Do I look like a people person?
  13. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
  14. How about never? Is never good for you?
  15. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
  16. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of shit.
  17. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
  18. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
  19. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t give a damn.
  20. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
  21. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
  22. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
  23. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
  24. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
  25. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
  26. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
  27. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
  28. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
  29. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message…
  30. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.


Turok’s Cabana


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