Sometimes humor is not direct. Here is a list of serious, non-humorous advice. The humor comes if you don’t follow it, with yourself as the butt of the joke.
- Before turning to prayer or magick, use the strengths and abilities within yourself. It’s simpler that way.
- Ask for what you want. Say how you are feeling. The results are very often postive.
- Always know the deities you are working with. Don’t ask Eris or Odin for peace. Get a good mythology reference and use it.
- Don’t invoke two or more dieties from different pantheons, especially not when they have different ideas on how to answer your prayer. Remember, Pax doesn’t wish to meet or work with Morrigan.
- Be nice to your spirit guides. They will help you if they are pleased with you, hinder you when not.
- Never leave anything up to the whims of the gods. Take the time and effort to be very precise in what you ask for.
- Say nice things about your foes in public.
- Simple is better.
- Believe in magick. It really does work.
- Everything that happens is an answered prayer. Nothing is random.
- Don’t give the gods undeserved credit or blame.
- Wash your feet before and after you go barefoot.
- When asking for strength, do it standing up, not sitting or lying down.
- Always tell the truth, even when it is not pleasant.
- When you deliver unwelcome news, do not expect to be welcomed or appreciated.
- Read the latest books on spiritual matters. Some may be nonsense, but it always helps to know the current New Age buzzwords.
- Running on Pagan Standard Time is an insult to those who depend on you.
- Draw pictures rather then write words. There is a reason that ancient people used pictures.
- Proofread. This is especially important in Spellcraft.
- Always be prepared to provide constructive criticism, but don’t offer it unless asked.
- If you gossip about someone, assume they will find out.
- Never confuse e-mail with reality.
- Find another coven and make friends with its members.
- When you leave a group, don’t take parting shots — even if justified.
- If you tell a sexist or racist joke, expect to be criticized.
- Don’t read from a book aloud to anyone unless they ask.
- If you are a leader, groom at least one successor.
- Never go anywhere without something to write on and a pen.
- Do the hard stuff first.
- Build and maintain an address list. Make sure you have a mundane name, postal address, phone number and e-mail address for each person.
- Saying “I told you so,” even if you were right, is never appreciated.
- Back-up your computer’s disk often.
- Do not expect sympathy when you have a hangover.
- Don’t comment or point out someone else’s mistakes until you’ve corrected your own.
- A hearty belly-laugh is excellent stress relief.